Writing this as soon as I am home....Well, classes got over today in the afternoon, and after a visit to the dentist, deceided that i'll stop at MTR for a quick bite of macroni sandwich.
I was there, alone, waiting for my sandwich. And there are these two guys in the adjacent bench. One looked like he was in his late 20's and the other-kinda in his 30's or something. And the older guy was talking about things like "Money is not everything...I dont give a damn...." and things like that. And he was talking so loudly that I bet everybody in that hall could hear.
He tone was as though he was drunk. So, I decided not to have an eye contact with those guys, and engrossed in my own world waiting for the sandwich to be served. But at some point of time, unknowingly, I just happened to look at that guy, and he was pointing towards me and was telling the "younger" guy that he wasn't a computer nerd like me.!!!
I was sure that he meant me, coz there was nobody else in the area where we were sitting. Anyways, I pretended not to have heard that, turned the other way from those guys, but still I was interested to know what exactly this guy was speaking. Coz, I felt he was drunk, and its really funny to hear drunk people talk...!!!
And there it happened again....I happened to see him, and he asked me as to what I was doing. I told him that I was into my Computer Science Engineering, to which he gave kinda "respectfull shock"...!!!
Later I got my sandwich, and these guys were done with their food as well. The older guy gave a 10 Rs. tip to the waiter....! Fine, whatever I thought and tried to enjoy the bread....The drunk guy told the other one to wait for him-outside, and that he would join him in a few minutes time. So, the other guy left. And the "drunk" guy, starts talking to me. He said something like, "you know brother, I ll tell you a secret....". This guy's words and his gestures were like the ones used by a typical Engineering student. He seemed to be highly qualified and well off. And so, he started....Though I do not know what words he used,what I can remember is that, he was talking about some spirutual stuff, about getting to know the "INTERNAL" when the world shows its back on you. I had guessed right from the begining that this guy was seriously depressed about something. Anyways, he started talking to me about all this stuff, to which I just nodded my head, indicating him that I was listening....
The guy was seriously feeling down. Thought he would leaving, and hence continued to munch on my sandwich, not paying real interest in his talk. But, his eyes were completly filled with tears now, and I could tell that they were genuine. But, tears didnt roll out, he held them back. He stopped talking when this happened, he didnt want the tears to roll down either. Now, I really felt for this man. He then told me, that he did a huge mistake, after which a series of events followed, which he couldnt stop from being happened. And he turned towards the spiritual side, trying to see the "internal"(as he said)....He went about telling all this to me, and later told that even after all this he pushed himself hard and that he wouldnt give up. I was at the receiving end, knowing nothing as to how to react, I just said "Hang on to your beliefs man..." ! Here I was...comforting a guy, who was married, had a son who was around 4 years younger to me..!!!
And then, before he left, he shook hands with me, asked my name, and then told me his as well, and with a smile across his face, said "Thanks for listening Keshav" and walked away.
I, for a moment felt good about myself. Though I didnt talk to him, when he was speaking to me, nor did I ask him as to why he was feeling so low, or what was the reason, or anything like that, I just felt good that I could hear to someone when he really wanted to talk to.
Thought about it while eating the remaining sandwich, and then I too left the place.
I really do not know as to what prompted to write about this incident.But,when we feel low and feel like talking to someone, you either end up with a person who tries to be funny and laugh it away, or else someone who will try to sympathasize with you. All that is required is hearing to what you say, dats it. Trying to sympathasize will bring you down even more.
I suggest the next time you are with somebody who is feeling low, just listen to what they have to say. You dont have to say anything, or try to comfort him, just be a good listener, that'll help....
This is to the man at MTR who was feeling low....!!!!
7 comments:
Thats
just
Brilliant.
I wont write anythin here.
I ll speak to u abt this.
it was so nice of you.
Disha is so lucky, man.
Really great man..
But..if it was disha,u definetly would
have convinced her rite!!
true that you have to be a good listener when people are feeling low. but often people blame the world for them to feel depressed. and hence actually do not make much attempt to change themselves.
in this case you couldn't have done anything than listen to him. but if the person who is feeling low is your friend then you better talk to him, not sympathise with him and then point out his mistakes if you come to know of them. they should be made to understand that they have to modify themselves if they have to feel better. otherwise that person might have feel good for some time after pouring out his feelings but soon the same state of depression will arise.
@Jamal:
Hope you got what I intended to mean in the post....
@Anand and @Adithya:
You ll surely pay for this someday.....
@Benki Man:
The guy who spoke to me was a total stranger, thats what prompted me to post this entry. Yea, its true that you gotta point out the mistakes that one has commited(for which reason they are feeling low), but I dont agree to your stand that people should "change themselves" in order to feel good.
Its true that you can't change all by yourself. But you can, when you have the feel of someone being with you,trusting you...
That's what you need to give for a depressed person.
Make him feel that he is cared about. Fisrt of all be a good listener. I think what u did was right... keep going... great one buddy...
nice one dude..
keep it up.,
this world is far far than wat we think...
we r jes small small small particles in this universe..
we must leave the thing called ego..
ego kills a man
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